Power can be distributed differently among families.  Power can be exposed by the mother, father, and in some rare cases the children.  If a woman contains the power in the family, this does not mean in any way that this family would falter because of a woman in charge in the household.  In my family, the distribution of power is somewhat complicated, but I would agree that my mother holds the majority of the power believe it or not.

Back during my teenage years, I would have said that my father contained the majority of the power in the household.  He was a successful businessman who was the best at what he did.  He went through three different jobs when I was in middle school through high school and always got to the top of his field.  For as long as I can remember, he was the one who provided for my sister and I by making a fair amount of money.  However, my mom has been the one that has done all the little and meaningful things that makes us a great family.

Taxes, insurance information, money distribution and childcare are shared equitably in my family.  My mother and father do the same amount of work and contain the same amount of power in these regards.  However, the running of the household is in the hands and control of my mother.  She has established where everything is set up and placed in our house such as the couches, televisions, pictures, posters, trophies, etc.  My mom is also in charge of dinner and the laundry.  She does a lot of work in and around the house to make it as cozy and comfortable as possible.  Even though my dad purchased the house, I still believe that my dad would be the one to move out if my parents ever get a divorce.  I know it sounds crazy, but my gut tells me if they ever had a divorce my mom would be the one to stay in our house.  That right there demonstrates just some of her power.

My father keeps an eye of our accounts and how much money everyone is spending.  However, my mother does all of the shopping, and she is a shopaholic.  She’s the one who shops for the groceries and goes to the mall and buys new clothes for her and my father.  My mother, without question, is the parent that decides how we spend our free time when my sister and I come home on occasion from college.  She will plan family outings and surprise us with family dinners and family movies.  Those two events are common rituals in our family.  Again, without question, my mother decides where our family will vacation.  She’s the one who does the research and contacts multiple hotels in the area in which we are traveling.  She also arranges our flight schedules to make sure we have good flight times.  Finally, again hands down, my mom decides when our whole family gets together and spends time with each other.  She is constantly in contact with all family members while my dad only talks to them briefly.

In most families, individuals would feel as though the father has the majority of the power within the family.  In my family, the mother exerts most of the power.  This is not typical of most families because the male is considered dominant and overpowering.  My mom in control does not make our family feminine because she is a woman.  She exerts multiple qualities that make her very masculine in some ways.  Additionally, when my parents get in arguments about vacationing or the house, my mom is the only one who does the yelling.  She has the upper hand and overpowers my dad until the problem is resolved.  This has been the case all my life, and I remember many, many examples.  My dad has had multiple chances within our family to exert a masculine, powerful role, but he always stays calm and contained, and I respect that out of him.  I know he would never cause any violence toward my mom.

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